The less a man makes declarative statements, the less he's apt to look foolish in retrospect.
— Okay, Ted, what's the problem?
— Hello, Betty. "What's the problem?" I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Plural.
Ted, do you know how long it takes the average American to count to six hundred? One minute less than it takes to count to seven hundred.
— Let's just leave the kids here.
— Here in the room? By themselves?
— No... with the television.
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