— We can't get married at all.
— Why not?
— Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
— Doesn't matter.
— I smoke. I smoke all the time.
— I don't care.
— Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
— I forgive you.
— I can never have children.
— We can adopt some.
— But you don't understand, Osgood. Uh, I'm a man.
— Well, nobody's perfect.
— I'm Osgood Fielding the Third.
— I'm Cinderella the Second.
— Which of these instruments do you play?
— Bow fiddle.
— Oh, fascinating! Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?
— Most of the time, I slap it!