— No, you're really sweet. I've got the perfect girl for you.
— Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering, "Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? Am I interested? I'm not really interested. Should I play interested? I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested. Do I want to be interested? But now she's not interested."So now, all of sudden I'm... I'm starting to get interested. And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door? 'Cause then it's awkward, it's like "Well, good night." Do you do like, the ass-out hug? Where you like — you hug each other like this, and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close. Do you just go right in and just kiss 'em on the lips or don't kiss 'em at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation and all the while you're just really wondering, "Are we gonna get hopped enough to make some bad decisions?" And perhaps play a little game called "Just the Tip." Just for a second, just to see how it feels, or "Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair."
