Ethan Gross – Character Quotes

— You still fretting about that dang phone?
— You know, I used everything in this lab to try and dry it out. You know, I even stuck it in the centrifuge.
— You did what now?
— I give up. I'm a doctor, not an engineer.

{Ethan gave Megan PH test strips and a set of test tubes}
— Ha ha ha, I knew it.
— That thing test insanity?
— It tests acidity.

— What does an investigator do, actually?
— Basically, secures the crime scene, photographs the body, interviews witnesses, and whatever I tell them to do.
— But I already do whatever you tell me to do.
— Keep up the good work!

— I found the cause of Dave's respiratory problems. Amphiboles in the aveoli.
— aAbestos?
— Yeah, and not from his navy days either. These are fresh. Just a few weeks old. Hello? He worked construction.
— What you want me to do about it?
— Come with me.
— Where, out there? What am I, Nancy Drew all of a sudden?

— Oh, sorry. Uh, I was just rearranging your instruments. The new deaner had them completely out of order.
— How do you know what order I want them in?
— Well, you know, they don't call me "Eagle Eye Ethan" for nothing. Nobody calls me that.

— Hey. What was that all about this morning at the crime scene? You and Sam... the... the arched eyebrows, the sighing.
— You mean to tell me you didn't notice?
— There was a murder victim to attend to. I think that takes precedence over...whatever it is you're going to tell me.
— Bud's mood? The... the way he was barking at everybody?
— Uh, isn't he always like that?
— Bud is having problems with his wife again.
— I thought he was divorced.
— You know, if you applied that laser focus you have to the people around you, you wouldn't have to ask.

— A man's foot and hand were found in a field yesterday. And then earlier today, I found a knee and a thigh in an alley.
— Can I see them?
— Sure. If... what? No. No! No. Your mom had questions, right?
— Have you read these questions? How am I supposed to learn anything about what my mom does with these lame questions?
— Lame? How about number four? "Name your three biggest influences in medicine and why." You know, I remember, uh, the first time I saw Rembrandt's "The Anatomy of Dr. Tulp." I thought it was lame, like these questions. Lame.
— So...show me something cool.

— I'm just your bitch, aren't I?
— Stop pretending you don't like it.