captain Malcolm Reynolds – Character Quotes

— If anyone gets nosy, you know, just... shoot 'em.
— Shoot 'em?
— Politely.

My work's illegal, but at least it's honest.

Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carrying a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.

Zoe: — No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated, this job is strictly speculative.
Jayne Cobb: — Good. Don't know these folks. Don't much care to.
"Mal": — They're whores.
Jayne Cobb: — I'm in.

Well, they tell ya, never hit a man with a closed fist... but it is, on occasion, hilarious.

The next time you decide to stab me in the back... have the guts to do it to my face.

— We're gonna die.
— We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. And you know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw, huh?

— If you require it... any gentleman here can give you use of a sword.
— Use of a what?

Simon Tam: — Uh, I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can. How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Malcolm Reynolds: — You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you'll be awake. You'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Simon Tam: — Are you always this sentimental?
Malcolm Reynolds: — I had a good day.
Simon Tam: — You had the Alliance on you — criminals and savages. Half the people on this ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself... — and you're harboring known fugitives.
Malcolm Reynolds: — Well, we're still flyin'.
Simon Tam: — That's not much.
Malcolm Reynolds: — It's enough.

Life's just too damn short for ifs and maybes.