Davis Mitchell – Character Quotes

— So that's when you pulled it.
— Yes.
— And you knew that would stop the train, correct?
— Well, I wasn't positive, but I was hoping.

I never thought I’d be one of those people who carried a briefcase. It always reminds me of carrying a lunchbox to school.

"I put five quarters in your machine and proceeded to push B2, which should have given me peanut M&M's, period. Regrettably, it did not. I found this upsetting, as I was very hungry, and also my wife had died ten minutes earlier."

[in the kitchen with sledgehammers]
Chris: What are we doing again?
Davis: We're taking apart my marriage.
[starts swinging]

— This is Karen Moreno from Champion Vending Company. I'm with customer service.
— Yeah?
— I'm calling in regards to your complaint letters, mister Mitchell. There's been four so far.
— You're with the customer service department?
— Yes, sir. I am the customer service department. It's just me.
— Do you usually make service calls at two in the morning?
— No. Not really. Never.
— I... I apologize for the inconvenience. I was just venting. I didn't expect anybody to read them. Sorry if...
— Your letters made me cry, mister Mitchell. Do you have anyone to talk to?

Davis: You are one fucked-up kid.
Chris: You're one fucked-up adult.