Sense Of Humor Quotes

So please — before you think about hurting someone over this trifle of a film, remember: even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the Platypus.

You know, I'm not saying the universe is evil, but it sure has a nasty sense of humor.

There was an old man from the Cape,
Who made himself garments of crepe.
When asked: Will they tear?
He replied: Here and there,
But they keep such a beautiful shape!

— The doctor says to the man: You got two different testicles. One is made of wood, and the other one is metal. The man is quite surprised, and the doctor doesn't know what to say either. But then he asks: "Do you have children?" The man says: Pinocchio is 3 and Terminator will be 7 soon.
— That's the joke?
— Yes, damit!
— Who is "Ponocchio"?
— "Pinocchio" is a marionette — made of wood. And "Terminator" is made of metal.
— I don't understand your joke!
— Because you don't listen right!
— I did!
— No, you didn't! I have to explain every joke to you three times and you still don't get it!
— I understood your fucking joke! "Terminator" is a machine! — made of metal! But why is a child a marionette?

— Well, your girl seemed very determined.
— Audrey. Yeah, I named her after Audrey Hepburn, but it was a serious miscalculation. I should have named her Benito.
— A smartphone fascist?
— Right? Oh, my God. If Audrey had to give up either her phone or a kidney, she'd be on dialysis, I'm sure of it.

— Mr Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous?
— I used to. There was a time when I found myself funny. But today you have proven me wrong. Thank you.