Religion Quotes

80 quotes

Man 1: Hello, we were wondering whether we could talk to you about Jesus?
Bernard: Great! Come in!
Man 1: What?
Bernard: I'd love to hear about Jesus, what's he up to now? Come on, come on in.
Man 1: Er... are you sure?
Bernard: Yes, in, in, come in!
Man 2: It's a trick!
Man 1: It's just... generally people don't say yes.
Bernard: Well, I'm not people! Come on in, let's talk beliefs!

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The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.

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