— Jack... It would never have worked out between us.
— Keep telling yourself that, darling.
Valentine's Day's coming? Oh, crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!
— I can ask her to live with me.
— Are you serious?
— Why not? I mean, why not?
— You've only known her six weeks! I've got a carton of milk in my fridge I've had a longer relationship with.
Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Equally important will find nice sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peepingtoms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuck wits, or perverts. And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all this things.
— Have you ever been with a girl, Forrest?
— I sit next to them in my Home Economics class all the time.
— How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
— Well, I am not really ready for a relationship now, Lois. But thank you for asking.
My boyfriend thinks I'm fat! And I can't eat in front of him! I can't eat in front of you!
— Nothing happened!
— Since when is snuggling nothing?
— I really like you, Mary. I like you a lot. I'm gonna ask you something flat out and I want you to answer me honestly: What do you think the chances are of a girl like you and a guy like me ending up together?
— Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean we hardly...
— I asked you to be honest, Mary.
— But Lloyd, I really can't...
— Come on, give it to me straight. I drove a long way to see you, the least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
— Not good.
— You mean not good, like one out of a hundred? I'd say more like one out of a million.
— So you're telling me there's a chance?