When you lose someone, it stays with you. Always reminding you of how easy it is to get hurt.
What I'm trying to say is I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or... how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night, going over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted... that will eventually begin to fade.
Most guys are at fight club because of something they're too scared to fight. After a few fights, you're afraid a lot less.
Tears are handy for washing away troubling and sad feelings. But when you grow up, you’ll learn that there are things so sad, they can never be washed away by tears. That there are painful memories that should never be washed away. So people who are truly strong laugh when they want to cry. They endure all of the pain and sorrow while laughing with everybody else.
Those who meant well behaved in the same way as those who meant badly.
Harry, there is never a perfect answer in this messy, emotional world. Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic. In every shining moment of happiness is that drop of poison: the knowledge that pain will come again. Be honest to those you love, show your pain. To suffer is as human as to breathe.
It makes you feel... alone, you know, hurting somebody. It makes you feel... alien.
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