If you love fighting so much, then stop whining that you weren't killed. Never admit defeat and ask for a quick death! Die first, then admit defeat! If you are defeated but didn’t die, it just means you were lucky! At those times, think only about survival! Survive and think only about killing the one who failed to kill you!
And what would be the point of living if we didn't let life change us?
The other thing about depression is it kind of collapses time. Suddenly, you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop. So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy. But slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy. And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way.
And will only continue to be this way.
Still, sometimes when you make big decisions, life starts going so fast that it seems like you're not even moving throught it. It just happens to you.
Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.
