If I decide to be an idiot, then I’ll be an idiot on my own accord.
Any idiot can accomplish something if they take it slow. Even a human piece of excrement could create a masterpiece if they spent their entire life on it! Someone who does things in a timely fashion is both wise and admirable.
I walk around talking to myself in accents. Usually people look at me like I'm a complete fruit loop.
There are two things people fear… those are death and embarrassment. Those who try to overcome death are just idiots, but I won’t laugh at those who try to overcome their embarrassment. I like those kind of idiots.
So you're chasing around a fly and in your world, I'm the idiot.
— Wake up, you. There are troops coming.
— Blue or grey?
— They're grey, like us. Let's say hello to them, then get going. Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... What's his name?
— Lee.
— Lee! God is with us because he hates the Yanks, too! Hurrah!
— God's not on our side, cos he hates idiots also.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
— Because you're an idiot. No, no, don't look like that. Practically everyone is.
— What were you thinking? My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift you threw next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol? Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
— A picture of me?
— No, the definition of the word "idiot," which you fucking are.
— It's no use. The man is a complete idiot.
— If only. Now my father, he was a complete idiot. I'm still a half-wit.
- 1
- 2