If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?
Well, she spent the last six months getting over him... and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him.
I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
— How was your date?
— Short.
— Oh, really? Sorry. "Short", you mean like "leprechaun" short?
— Thought you have a date tonight.
— Not a date, a date experience.
— What's the difference?
— About fifteen hundred dollars.
— I'd think you'd be happy for me.
— I am happy for you. You had the courage to walk over there with your pus-filled eye and fall on your ass and still got a date with one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. I'm not only happy for you, I'm proud of you. Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about men, women, relationships, God and the universe. But that's not your problem.
— I'm telling you, Joanna's got it all wrong, okay? All I said was, "This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call."
— Oh, gee... I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
— That's what you say at the end of a date.
— You can't just say, "Nice to meet you. Good night"?
— To her face?
— You know how a woman gets a man excited?
— How?
— She shows up. That's it.