Funny Quotes about Children Quotes

11 quotes

— Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
— What are we gonna have?
— Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
— What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Poison pizza.
— Oh, no. I'm not making two stops.

- Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
-  What are we gonna have?
- Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
- What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
- Poison pizza.
- Oh, no. I'm not making two stops.

— I tried with that kid, Alan. He says one thing, and then he goes and does another.
— He's 10. He's got the attention span of a hummingbird.
— What am I supposed to do when he ignores me?
— You punish him. You take away his computer, his TV, his toys.
— You already took away all the good stuff. What am I supposed to take away? His bronchial inhaler?

– Come on, man, have some decency here, 'Worm'. You can buy all the smokes you want in half an hour.
– What are you talking about?! I won these fair and square...
– You don't even smoke, 'Worm'.
– Jesus, you guys are such fuckin' babies! You know that? If you're determined to die of cancer, you really oughta learn how to play cards.