— Hey, Meghan? I thought that I have been clear about the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt.
— You were serious about that?
— It's winter. Can we put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable? Are you body-shaming her right now?
— Some people here might find your outfit offensive.
— Well, some people might find your outfit offensive. And really confusing.
— Oh, I thought it was clear. This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater. It has Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Buddhist day of enlightenment, and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included!
— Is everyone included? What about, um, what about something for the Satanists?
Each time I remember
The day you went away
And how I would listen
to the things you had to say
I just break down
As I look around -
And the only things I see
Are loneliness and emptiness
And an unlit Christmas tree.
– I shouldn't mind living in such a fine house and having nice things… Oh, it doesn't seen like Christmas this year without presents.
– I'm desperate for drawing pencils...
– I wish I didn't have to work for Great-Aunt March... That crabby old miser.
– And you, Beth... What's your Christmas wish?
– I'd like the war to end so father can come home...
– Oh, sweet Beth. We all want that.
The cold wind is blowing and the streets are getting dark,
I'm writting you a letter and I don't know where to start.
The bells will be ringing Saint John the Divine,
I get a little lonely everyday around this time.
The music plays all night in Little Italy,
The lights will be going up on old Rockafella's tree.
People window shoppin' on 5th avenue,
All I want for Christmas is you.
— Look, if it gets a little warm... it can be a theme party.
— Here's a theme: "Come on in, live like bacon!"
How low! Giving Kriss Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?
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