— We'd like you to be godfather.
— God is a ludicrous fiction dreamt up by inadequates who abnegate all responsibility to an invisible magic friend.
— Yeah, but there'll be cake. Will you do it?
— I'll get back to you.
— Keep me informed.
— Of what?
— Absolutely no idea.
There was once a merchant in a famous market at Baghdad. Oneday he saw a stranger looking at him in surprise. And he knew that the stranger was Death. Pale and trembling, the merchant fled the marketplace and made his way many, many miles to the city of Samarra. For there he was sure Death couldn't find him. But when, at last, he came to Samarra, the merchant saw, waiting for him, the grim figure of Death.
— Very well, — said the merchant. — I give in. I'm yours. But tell me, why did you look surprised when you saw me this morning in Baghdad?
— Because, — said Death, — I had an appointment with you tonight, in Samarra.
— Well, allowing for the entirely pointless courtesy of headroom, I'd say this coffin is intended for someone of about five foot four. Makes it more likely to be a woman.
— Not a child?
— A child's would be more expensive. This is in the lower price range, although still best available in that bracket.
— That was a lonely night on Google.
Red alert! Red alert! Big, red, bouncy, red alert! Klingons attacking lower decks! Also cowboys in black hats and Darth Vader. Don't be alarmed, I'm here now, I'm here now! Do you miss me? Do you miss me? Do you miss me? Miss me? Miss me? Miss me?
— Anything to add, John?... John?
— Uh, yeah, yeah, listening.
— What is that?
— That is me. Well, it's a me substitute.
— Don't be so hard on yourself, you know I value your little contributions.
— Yeah? It's been there since 9:00 this morning.
— Has it? Where were you?
— Helping Mrs H. with her sudoku.
Explanation:
In John's chair, Sherlock sees a red helium balloon with a painted face.
Explanation:
On the ship, shortly after the mention of Sheringford
— Appointment in Samarra.
— I'm sorry?
— The merchant who can't outrun Death. You always hated that story as a child. Less keen on predestination back then.
— I'm not sure I like it now.
— You wrote your own version, as I remember. Appointment in Sumatra. The merchant goes to a different city, and is perfectly fine.
— Good night, Mycroft.
— Then he becomes a pirate, for some reason.
— You just like this dog, don't you?
— Well, I like you.
— You need to see him, John. You need to help him!
— Nope.
— He needs you!
— Somebody else. Not me. Not now.
— Now, you just listen to me for once in your stupid life. I know Mary's dead and I know your heart is broken. But if Sherlock Holmes dies too, who'll you have then? Because I'll tell you something, John Watson. You will not have me.
— Have you spoken to Mycroft, Molly, anyone?
— They don't matter, you do. Would you just see him, please, John? Or just take a look at him as a doctor? I know you'd change your mind if you did.
— Yeah, look. Okay. Maybe, if I get a chance.
— Do you promise?
— I'll try if I'm in the area.
— Promise me?
— I promise.
— Thank you.
[opens the trunk where Holmes is lying]
— Keep up. He's fast.
<...>
— He's not moving.
— He's thinking.
— He's really not moving.
— Slow but sure, John, not dissimilar to yourself.
— You just like this dog, don't you?
— Well, I like you.
— ... He's still not moving.
— Fascinating.
Explanation:
A dialogue about Toby (the dog).
When does the path we walk on lock around our feet? When does the road become a river with only one destination? Death waits for us all in Samarra. But can Samarra be avoided?
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