– You’re a bit like my dad. He’s dead. No, sorry.
– Molly, please don’t feel the need to make conversation. It’s really not your area.
– When he was... dying, he was always cheerful; he was lovely – except when he thought no-one could see. I saw him once. He looked sad.
– Molly...
– You look sad... when you think he can’t see you. Are you okay? And don’t just say you are, because I know what that means, looking sad when you think no-one can see you.
– You can see me.
– I don’t count. What I’m trying to say is that, if there’s anything I can do, anything you need, anything at all, you can have me. No, I just mean... I mean if there’s anything you need... It’s fine.
– What-what-what could I need from you?
– Nothing. I dunno. You could probably say thank you, actually.
— ... Thank you.
– I’m just gonna go and get some crisps. Do you want anything? It’s okay, I know you don’t.
– Well, actually, maybe I’ll...
– Not necessary, I know.
A modern update finds the famous sleuth and his doctor partner solving crime in 21st century London.
– So how’re you going to do it... burn me?
– Oh, that’s the problem – the final problem. Have you worked out what it is yet? What’s the final problem? I did tell you... but did you listen? How hard do you find it, having to say “I don’t know”?
– I dunno.
– Oh, that’s clever; that’s very clever; awfully clever. Speaking of clever, have you told your little friends yet?
– Told them what?
– Why I broke into all those places and never took anything.
– No.
– But you understand.
– Obviously.
– Off you go, then.
– You want me to tell you what you already know?
– No; I want you to prove that you know it.
– You didn’t take anything because you don’t need to.
– Good.
– You’ll never need to take anything ever again.
– Very good. Because...?
– Because nothing... nothing in the Bank of England, the Tower of London or Pentonville Prison could possibly match the value of the key that could get you into all three.
– I can open any door anywhere with a few tiny lines of computer code. No such thing as a private bank account now – they’re all mine. No such thing as secrecy – I own secrecy. Nuclear codes – I could blow up NATO in alphabetical order. In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king; and honey, you should see me in a crown.
– You were advertising all the way through the trial. You were showing the world what you can do.
– And you were helping. Big client list: rogue governments, intelligence communities... terrorist cells. They all want me. Suddenly, I’m Mr Sex.
– If you could break any bank, what do you care about the highest bidder?
– I don’t. I just like to watch them all competing. “Daddy loves me the best!” Aren’t ordinary people adorable? Well, you know: you’ve got John. I should get myself a live-in one.
– Why are you doing all of this?
– It’d be so funny.
– You don’t want money or power – not really. What is it all for?
– I want to solve the problem – our problem; the final problem. It’s gonna start very soon, – the fall. But don’t be scared. Falling’s just like flying, except there’s a more permanent destination.
– Never liked riddles.
– Learn to. Because I owe you a fall, Sherlock. I... owe... you.
– Most people knock. But then you’re not most people, I suppose. Kettle’s just boiled.
– Johann Sebastian would be appalled. May I?
– Please.
– You know when he was on his death bed, Bach, he heard his son at the piano playing one of his pieces. The boy stopped before he got to the end...
— ... and the dying man jumped out of his bed, ran straight to the piano and finished it.
– Couldn’t cope with an unfinished melody.
– Neither can you. That’s why you’ve come.
– But be honest: you’re just a tiny bit pleased.
– What, with the verdict?
– With me... back on the streets. Every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain. You need me, or you’re nothing. Because we’re just alike, you and I – except you’re boring. You’re on the side of the angels.
– Got to the jury, of course.
– I got into the Tower of London; you think I can’t worm my way into twelve hotel rooms?
– Cable network.
– Every hotel bedroom has a personalised TV screen...
“IF YOU WANT YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TO STAY BEAUTIFUL THEN FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS”
— ... and every person has their pressure point; someone that they want to protect from harm. Easy-peasy.
— We don't get inspected here.
— Ever heard of a spot check? Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers.
— Sir. Major Barrimore won't be pleased, sir. He'll want to see you both.
— I'm afraid we won't have time. We need the full tour. Right away. Carry on. That's an order, Corporal.
— Yes, sir!
Sherlock: — Nice touch.
John: — Haven't pulled runk in ages.
S: — Enjoy it?
J: — Oh, yeah.
— Alone protects me.
— No, friends protect people.
— You don't smoke.
— I also don't frequent cafes.
Please... Don't be dead.
— Listen, has he ever had any kind of girl-friend, boyfriend, a relationship, ever?
— I don't know.
— How can we not know?
— He's Sherlock. How will we ever know what goes on in that funny old head?
— Well, that's the knighthood in the bag.
— And that's mine.
— All the photographs are on here, I presume?
— I have copies, of course.
— No, you don't. You'll have permanently disabled any kind of uplink or connection. Unless the contents of this phone are unique, you couldn't sell them.
— Who said I'm selling?
— Well, why would they be interested?
— Whatever's on the phone, it's clearly not just photographs.
— That camera-phone is my life, Mr Holmes. I'd die before I let you take it. It's my protection.
— It was.
— Kate! We're going to have a visitor. I'll need a bit of time to get ready.
— A long time?
— ... Ages.