A modern update finds the famous sleuth and his doctor partner solving crime in 21st century London.
— She said you get off on this, you enjoy it.
— And I said "dangerous", and here you are.
— What are you doing here?
— As ever, I'm concerned about you.
— Yes, I've been hearing about your "concern".
— Always so aggressive. Did it never occur to you that you and I belong on the same side?
— Oddly enough... No.
— We have more in common than you'd like to believe. This petty feud between us is simply childish. People will suffer. And you know how it always upset Mummy.
— I upset her? Me? It wasn't me that upset her, Mycroft.
— No. No, wait... Mummy? Who's Mummy?
— Mother. Our mother. This is my brother, Mycroft.
I didn't kill those four people, Mr Holmes. I spoke to them and they killed themselves.
— Do people usually assume you're the murderer?
— Now and then, yes.
— And because you're dying, you've just murdered four people.
— I've outlived four people. That's the most fun you can have with an aneurism.
Sorry, got to dash. I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary.
— I'll make you that cuppa, you rest your leg.
— Damn my leg! Sorry, I'm so sorry. It's just sometimes this bloody thing...
— I understand, dear, I've got a hip.
— Cup of tea'd be lovely. Thank you.
— Just this once, dear, I'm not your housekeeper.
— Couple of biscuits too, if you've got them.
— Not your housekeeper!
— You don't have a girlfriend, then?
— Girlfriend? No, not really my area.
— Mm. Oh, right. Do you have a boyfriend?
— ...
— Which is fine, by the way.
— I know it's fine.
— So, you've got a boyfriend, then.
— No.
— People don't have arch-enemies.
— I'm sorry?
— In real life. There are no arch-enemies in real life. Doesn't happen.
— Doesn't it? Sounds a bit dull. What do real people have, then, in their "real lives"?
— Friends. People they know, people they like, people they don't like. Girlfriends, boyfriends.
— Yes, well, as I was saying, dull.