So maybe sometimes bad things do happen for a reason. Or how getting suspended can get a relationship back on track. Or how facing a tough situation can bring you closer together. Be careful, though, because around here, if you start believing that bad things happen for a reason, it hurts that much more when they don't.
Your sarcasm is wasted on me, you giant pregnant beast.
— I once snuck a mongoose in this thing to kill all the snakes.
— Why were there snakes in here?
— I snuck them in to kill all the mice.
— Anyway, Todd and Ted are gonna get 20 bucks from me to tape you to the ceiling of the cafeteria tomorrow, and I'm telling you this because I figure you've already zoned out and have stopped listening to me. Am I right?
— I don't know what the Janitor had said, but I feel like things are looking up. He's leaving, plus I have friends who are more than happy to be there for me.
Yes, and that's what we call a lie or, when you're married, communication.
Elliot Reid: — Okay, Janitor, Carla's starting to push. Tell Turk.
Janitor: — Got it. Your baby has a tail.
Turk: — I told her to stay away from the microwave.
— You wanna be like everybody else and say, «Everything's gonna be just fine».
— Dude, I'm your best friend. I'll tell you whatever you want me to.
— Well, everything happens for a reason.
— Are you really trying to tell me that things like New Orleans, AIDS, sugar-free ice cream, crack babies, Hugh Jackman and cancer all happen for a reason? Because I'm sorry, I'm... I'm just not buying that.
— «God works all things for good». Romans, 8:28.
— Bull dinky. Perry Cox, 6'1". A buck eighty-five after lunch.
— Well, it's for the best, 'cause if you knew, you just would get all panicky and annoying. And this way you only have to freak out for a couple of hours, most of which I'll be unconscious. Kind of like our honeymoon.
— Except this time when you wake up, you're going to have a baby girl in your arms instead of the Bolivian limbo champion.
— Oh, Marco! What a cheeky monkey! How come we don't travel any more?
Pregnant women are among a select group of people who are actually allowed to act insane. Much like sports mascots, local weathermen, theme park performers and that guy with the question-mark jacket who teaches people how to get free money from the government.