Scrubs – Series Quotes [Season 1, Episode 4]

— I got a hernia patient to take care of.
— What's his name?
— His name's Hernia Patient. But we've gotten close so I call him Hernia.

— I don't wanna give my two cents but if you do want my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain and every time I see your Kewpie-Doll face it just makes me want
to pick you up and shake you until all the hours of my life that you've wasted fall out.
— Now laugh.
— What?
— Laugh so that she doesn't think l'm yelling at you.

— Have you slept with Turk yet?
— What?!
— I'm sorry. Too personal.
— I like to wait. I like a guy to want it so bad he thinks he isn't gonna get it ever. When he's lost the will to live, I jump him.
— So how long does that take?
— A month, maybe two. What about you?
— I like to use sex as an ice-breaker.
— And how's that working out for you?
— I guess l don't have what you would call high self-esteem.