Scrubs – Series Quotes [Season 1, Episode 15]

616 quotes
Scrubs
Year: 
2001 – 2010
Tagline: 
«I'm No Superman»
Country: 
USA
Genres: 
Drama, Comedy

In the unreal world of Sacred Heart Hospital, intern John "J.D." Dorian learns the ways of medicine, friendship and life.

Relationships? Well, Sigmund, relationships are so fragile. It just takes one thing, one... tiny little offence, and it can snowball on you. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you better tuck and go. <...> And bam! The shine's off the apple. That's when you find out that that pretty girl you married isn't a pretty girl at all. No. She's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the ''Whoa, whoa, here she comes'' kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. I may have tormented her from time to time, but that's what I thought marriage was all about. So much so, that by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know
who I hated more: her or me. I used to sit around and wonder why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here it turns out the answer's pretty simple. They weren't unhappy. We were. <...> Relationships don't work the way they do in the movies. Will they? Won't they? They finally do and they're happy for ever. Nine out of ten end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones that get married get divorced anyway. And through all this, I have not become a cynic. I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies, and you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker. I don't care. Because I do believe in it.

Relationships? Well, Sigmund, relationships are so fragile. It just takes one thing, one... tiny little offence, and it can snowball on you. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you better tuck and go. <...> And bam! The shine's off the apple. That's when you find out that that pretty girl you married isn't a pretty girl at all. No. She's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the ''Whoa, whoa, here she comes'' kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. I may have tormented her from time to time, but that's what I thought marriage was all about. So much so, that by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know
who I hated more: her or me. I used to sit around and wonder why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here it turns out the answer's pretty simple. They weren't unhappy. We were. <...> Relationships don't work the way they do in the movies. Will they? Won't they? They finally do and they're happy for ever. Nine out of ten end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones that get married get divorced anyway. And through all this, I have not become a cynic. I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies, and you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker. I don't care. Because I do believe in it.
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I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don't tell this story very often, but I remember when I was seven years old, I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. So, I picked him up and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox, and... My God! I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does: Chicks, money, power and chicks.

I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don't tell this story very often, but I remember when I was seven years old, I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. So, I picked him up and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox, and... My God! I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does: Chicks, money, power and chicks.
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— Are you following me?
— No. You wanna go out some time?
— With you?
— Me and a bottle of Jagermeister.
— No, Todd, I don't. But I don't want you to think it's because I'm a lesbian or anything. I find you so creepy, I think you should walk around with a bell around your neck.
— All I heard was ''lesbian''.

- Are you following me?
- No. You wanna go out some time?
- With you?
- Me and a bottle of Jagermeister.
- No, Todd, I don't. But I don't want you to think it's because I'm a lesbian or anything. I find you so creepy, I think you should walk around with a bell around your neck.
- All I heard was ''lesbian''.
- Are you following me?
- No. You wanna go out some time?
- With you?
- Me and a bottle of Jagermeister.
- No, Todd, I don't. But I don't want you to think it's because I'm a lesbian or anything. I find you so creepy, I think you should walk around with a bell around your neck.
- All I heard was ''lesbian''.
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