Scrubs – Series Quotes [Season 1, Episode 11]

Gosh, Marjorie, aren't you sassy today? Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted?

The tension actually hurts, You have to break it, Say something, Anything! Banana hammock!

— I'm assuming, since you already took everything else, that you're here for my self-respect, but there's bad news on that one, sweetcheeks. I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry you.
— I wouldn't have room for it, what with your testicles in my trophy case.
— Holy cow. Who's better? You got me by the short hairs.

I guess Turk was right after all, Miracles do happen, I think you just have to be willing to look for them.

— You want something?
— Nobody likes a cranky punching bag. And yes, it's about a patient. Pretty good friend of mine.
— I guess that means he respects me a little!
— Randy, Jackie, what do you say? This is the monkey I got to videotape the birth.

How am I supposed to believe in someone that's gonna let innocent people suffer?

You don't understand what you've done. My ex-wife is gonna hold this over my head for so long that I doubt I'll ever see the sun again. And I liked the sun, Newbie. It made me hopeful.

— Sir, l have to say, I'm offended.
— Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.