House was right.
Without competition we'd still be single-celled organisms.
— I need a change of scenery.
— Buy a plant!
Here’s how life works. You either get to ask for an apology, or you get to shoot people. Not both.
I'd stand outside your apartment holding up a boombox except you told me you hated '80s music.
— Ah! The husband described her as being unusually irritable recently.
— And?
— I didn't know it was possible for a woman to be unusually irritable.
You see the world as it is, and you see the world as it could be. What you don't see is what everybody else sees: the giant, gaping chasm in between.
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