Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.
You don’t like it, there are exits on every floor.
Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!
— Pay attention to me!
— Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you.
Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.
I'm not sad, I'm complicated, chicks dig that.
— I realized they could be my friends.
— You're serious?
— And then I sobered up.