Friends – Series Quotes [Season 2, Episode 3]

— You don't believe in gravity?
— Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

— Look at this! My Big Book of Grievances.
— Hey, there's me! "April 17th, excessive noise... Italian guy comes home with a date." You're in here too.
— "April 18th, excessive noise... Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning." Well, that's excellent.

— I've never seen so much crap!
— Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.

Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life... without even knowing it?

If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. You know, a hook. Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be
"Crazy Man With A Snake." Crazy Snake Man. Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies.

— You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
— You don't have birds.
— I could have birds.

— Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish?
— Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.

Joey Tribbiani: — When I first moved here, I went out with this girl. Really hot. Great kisser... but she had the biggest Adam's apple. Drove me nuts.
Chandler Bing: — You or me?
Ross Geller: — I got it. Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
Joey Tribbiani: — You guys are messing with me, right?
chorus: — Yeah. We are!
Joey Tribbiani: — That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa!

— Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
— I'm gonna die alone!
— Okay, you win.