Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because a dog is smarter than its tail.
If the tail were smarter, the tail would wag the dog.
— Why Albania?
— Why not?
— What have they done to us?
— What have they done FOR us? What do you know about them?
— Nothing.
— See? They keep to themselves. Shifty. Untrustable.
— When we asked for "special programs", they gave us special prisons.
— Yeah, well... little bit of a difference.
— Has he been in jail long?
— [reading a file] Twelve years.
— Does he have much longer to serve?
— Mmm.
— What did he do?
— He raped a nun...
— Oh, God. Oh, God. Jes... oh, God!
— And...
— "And"? I don't want to know an "and". Why is there an "and"?
— Look, look, look, look, look. He's fine as long as he gets his medications...
— And if he doesn't get his medications?
— He's not fine.
— I'm in show business, yes? Why come to me?
— Well I'll tell you why, Mr Motss. '54-40-Or Fight', what does that mean?
— It's a slogan, it's from the, uh...
— 'Remember the Maine'!
— Oh yeah, that's from — that's gotta be from the, uh...
— 'Tippecanoe and Tyler Too'!
— No, that's not, uh...
— They're war slogans, Mr. Motss. We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the fucking wars. You know why? That's show business. That's why we're here. Naked girl covered in Napalm. 'V for Victory'. Five Marines raising the flag, Mt. Suribachi. You remember the picture 50 years from now, you'll have forgotten the war. The Gulf War, smart bomb falling down a chimney. 2500 missions a day, 100 days. ONE video of ONE bomb Mr. Motss, the American people bought that war. War is show business — that's why we're here.
— And what do you for the President?
— They gotta know at some point.
— Who?
— The public.
— They gotta know?
— Yes.
— Get with it. Who killed Kennedy? I read the first draft of the Warren Report. Says he was killed by a drunk driver.
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