Don't choose the better guy. Choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl.
— Have you ever been or do you ever plan on being a serial killer?
— Mm, well, I mean, you got to keep your options open.
— I made a mistake.
— I don't believe in mistakes.
— Well, that's a very convenient philosophy for someone like yourself.
— It's the mistakes that make us who we are.
— That's why you start online dating. They have lots of charts.
— Not that again.
— What is your problem with online?
— What's my problem? Do you watch Dateline? How many creeps are out there? I could end up a skin suit or in somebody's trunk.
— I don't know if that's creepy or romantic, man.
— It's cromantic.
— Bi-curious? Skinny-dipping? Rollerblading? I mean, what is this, 1994?
— You looked adorable in those shorts. Men are gonna respond to that camel toe.