The Last Boy Scout – Movie Quotes

— Can we do a formal introduction?
— Who gives a fuck? You're the bad guy, right?

Water's wet, the sky is blue... and old Satan Claus, Jimmy, he's out there and he's just getting stronger.

Joe, if we go any faster, we're gonna travel back in time.

Okay. Come on, Jimmy, think, think, think. What would Joe do? He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes. I don't have a gun.

— Leather pants?
— Yeah.
— What's something like that run?
— Six-fifty.
— Six hundred and fifty dollars?
— Yeah.
— They're pants?
— Yeah.
— They don't have, like, a TV in them or something?
— Nope.
— I am very old.

— Christ, Sarah. You let her wear enough makeup. She looks like... a goddamn raccoon. I come in the house, I think it's a burglar. I almost shot her twice.
— You're not funny. And all the girls wear makeup.
— I'm sure all the girls at that school don't put it on with a paint sprayer.

— You think you're so fucking cool, don't you? You think you're so fucking cool. Well, just once... I would like to hear you scream in pain.
— Play some rap music.

— Well, if it isn't Shelly Marcone himself.
— Careful, son. Just my friends call me Shelly.
— You got friends? When did this happen?

Water's wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets.

— I'm not the one who hates you, Joe. You're the one who hates you.
— And I get to live with myself 24 hours a day.

— So I'm thinking I could use a partner. You up for that?
— I don't know anything about being a detective.
— There's nothing to it. This being the '90s, you can't just walk up to a guy and smack him in the face. You gotta say something cool first.

— What the hell is she doing here?
— I followed him. It's not his fault!
— Goddamn it, I'm gonna kill you both.
— Well, you're gonna have to stand in line.

— Where you going?
— To the bathroom. You wanna come? Doc said I shouldn't lift anything heavy.
— No, I'll pass.