Some Like It Hot – Movie Quotes

— We can't get married at all.
— Why not?
— Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
— Doesn't matter.
— I smoke. I smoke all the time.
— I don't care.
— Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
— I forgive you.
— I can never have children.
— We can adopt some.
— But you don't understand, Osgood. Uh, I'm a man.
— Well, nobody's perfect.

— How do they keep their balance in these things?
— Must be the way the weight is distributed.

They're gonna line us up against the wall and... The cops will find two dead dames and take us to the morgue and when they undress us, I'll die of shame.

— Look, if you're interested in whether I am married or not...
— Oh, I'm not interested at all.
— Well, I'm not.
— That's very interesting.

— Didn't you girls say you went to a conservatory?
— Oh, yes. For a whole year.
— I thought you said three years.
— We got time off for good behaviour.

— We gotta get out of town. We could grow beards.
— We will get out of town, but we're gonna shave.
— At a time like this? They wanna blast our heads off, and you wanna shave.
— Shave our legs, stupid.

— I'm Osgood Fielding the Third.
— I'm Cinderella the Second.

— Isn't water polo terribly dangerous?
— I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me.

Then one morning you wake up, the guy's gone, the sax's gone. All that's left is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out.

— What's with him? He drinks?
— No, he ain't eatin' so good. His empty stomach has gone to his head.

— Hey, Sheboygan. What was your last job? Playing square dances?
— No. Funerals.
— Would you mind rejoining the living? Goose it up a little.

— Tell me, who runs up that flag? Your wife?
— No, my flag steward.
— Who mixes the cocktails? Your wife?
— No, my cocktail steward.
— Look, if you're interested in whether I am married or not...
— Oh, I'm not interested at all.
— Well, I'm not.

— And why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
— Security.

— I'm engaged.
— Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
— I am.
— What?!
— Osgood proposed to me. We're planning a June wedding.
— What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood.
— Do you think he's too old for me?

I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste

— You will come and hear us play?
— If it's at all possible.
— Do come. It'll be such fun. And bring your yacht.