— Don't you hate that?
— Hate what?
— Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
— I don't know. That's a good question.
— That's when you know you've found somebody really special: you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.
Because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character.
— I'll be back before you can say, blueberry pie.
— Blueberry pie.
— Well maybe not that fast, but fast.
— You can use my straw, I don't have kooties.
— Yeah, but maybe I do.
— Kooties I can handle.
It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
When you little scamps get together, you're worse than a sewing circle.
Did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, he's immediately forgiven for all wrong-doings?
— What now?
— What now? Well let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a couple pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on homes here with a pair of pilers and a blow torch. Hear me talkin' hillbilly boy?! I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'm gonna git Medieval on your ass.
— I meant what now, between me and you?
— Oh, that what now? Well, let me tell ya what now between me an' you. There is no me an' you. Not no more.
— So we're cool?
— Yeah man, we're cool. One thing I ask — two things I ask: Don't tell nobody about this. This shit's between me and you and the soon-to-be-livin'-the-rest-of-his-short-ass-life-in-agonizing-pain, Mr. Rapist here. It ain't nobody else's business. Two: leave town. Tonight. Right now. And when you're gone, stay gone. You've lost your Los Angeles privileges. Deal?
— Deal.
— Get your ass outta here.
— Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
— You think guys would find that attractive?
— I don't give a damn what men find attractive.