Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband, Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screamin', "You been screwin' the milkman!" And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times.
Anyway, I started fooling around. Then I started screwing around, which is fooling around without dinner.
You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So I came home this one day, and I'm really irritated... and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. There's Bernie lyin' on the couch... drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'! So I said to him, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall... and I fired two warning shots into his head.
I met Ezekial Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So we started living together. He'd go to work. He'd come home. I'd fix him a drink. We'd have dinner. And then I found out. Single, he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married... Oh, no... He had six wives. One of those Mormons. So that night
when he came home from work... I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
I loved AI Lipschitz more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy. Sensitive. A painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way... he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irving. You could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive... and I saw him dead.
— Since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the stage.
— What's your talent? Washing and drying?
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