Mark Twain – Quotes

Definition of a classic — something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink— — under any circumstances.

Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects".

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

To foreigners, a Yankee is an American.
To Americans, a Yankee is a Northerner.
To Northerners, a Yankee is an Easterner.
To Easterners, a Yankee is a New Englander.
To New Englanders, a Yankee is a Vermonter.
And in Vermont, a Yankee is somebody who eats pie for breakfast.