You can never really know another person completely.
Everyone thinks they are the hero of their own story.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow...
Sometimes life puts you in difficult circumstances you didn't choose, but being happy or unhappy is a choice you make, and I've chosen to make the best of things that I can.
— My birthday's coming up. What are you going to get me?
— A dictionary, so you can look up the definition of "selfish."