Grand Theft Auto V – Video Game Quotes

— Man, shit gotta be around here somewhere.
— Unless they buried it under the sand, fool. Another brilliant Lamar Davis production.

— The Bureau owns a lot out in East LS. Covington Supplies, off El Rancho. Can you take us there?
— Yeah, sure. Sounds nice and secluded. Kind of place you'd run an off the books operation, huh?
— So what?
— So, I bet "Federal" ain't on the deed, that's so. And we all like our Federal government open and transparent.
— Except when closed and opaque suits you better.
— Hey, I'm just a puppet, you're the one pulling the strings. Nice car. The tax payer's treating you right.
— I need you to make a couple of calls... get some people on board... First guy is Franklin Clinton.
— Hey, I barely know that kid. He's fixing up my car.
— Call him or we'll send some G-men to his aunt's house.
— Okay. Okay. [Michael calls to Franklin]
— Michael, this ain't the best time. I'm kind of busy.
— Hey, sorry about that. Listen, you know that thing we talked about before? It's happening. I need you to come to a lot of El Rancho, not far from where we met before.
— Alright, that's cool. I'm in LS anyway.
— Now Trevor Philips. Oh, you're crazy, I ain't calling him.
— I thought you might say that, so we had him picked up.
— That's a dumb move, Dave. Real f***ing dumb.
— Just worry about the plan, okay? Getting Mr. K out of the IAA Station. Clinton is going to be positioned across the street, keeping an eye on the proceedings. Philips flies you in, you rappel down, make the extraction.
— And I'm the best guy you got for this?
— With you, we've got good leverage.
— Great! And you brought Trevor in? We're telling him I'm all cozy with the FIB?
— You'll need discreet support — we'll mantain control of the situation.
— Discreet? Control? Yeah, good luck controlling discreet Trevor. I wonder how controllable and discreet he'll be when he sees the guy who killed me, and put Brad in jail.
— Maybe I'll hang back. Yeah. That might be a good idea. You know what, you better keep a low profile. Yeah I think I will, see you later.

— What the fuck? Give me that motherfucking camera.
— Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Whoa! Back off there, cowboy. I know my constitutional rights. Anyway, I know you were coming here to suck cock, so it's alright.
— What the fuck you talkin' about?
— Whoa! Hey! Look, I saw "Quarterback Blues", man. And y'know, some of those older records of yours even they sound a little bit closeted, I'm just sayin'.
— What? A black man walking in Vinewood, you think the Clay PG Sellout? You bitch-ass punk motherfucker.
— Oh. Oh shit, man. Oh... Hey. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't, didn't have my contacts in... y'know. I mean, I love black people. Yeah, y'know like, like... I love gangsters! I love, like, gangster rap. "Yo! Sup!"
— Man, who gives a fuck if he's gay or not, man? The man is not married. It's his business. Leave motherfuckers alone.
— Look, I'm just sayin' that, that it's the hypocrisy that I can't stand. Y'know, I mean of celebrities. I mean PG... right, he says he's a killer and a murderer and all that great stuff and then, what? He loves his mother and likes showtunes. I mean, really, what kind of message is that sending our kids? You know what I'm sayin'? The guy's a fraud.
— But why do you care, man?
— Because, you know why? Because, they all think they're gods, right? Well fuck them. Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck them, Fuck! Them! Fuck them. They're not magic. No, no, they're not better than me. They're not better than m... Shit... oh shit, oh my God, it's Miranda. Miranda, I love you! Miranda! Come on... c'mon, come on, it's fucking Miranda fucking Cowan!
— Man, look. Leave me out your shit, man. C'mon on, she's a fucking megastar! Oh, no, no, no! We can make beaucoup bucks here, man. We got one picture of her hairy legs, or her aging muff, and we are in the money, man. In the money, bro. Come on! Come on, man! Come on!
— Oh... what the fuck is wrong with me?
— Let's go! You drive, I'll get the shot.