Todd Quinlan – Character Quotes

— I haven't had to work this hard since Carla's mom.
— I thought Carla's mom hated you.
— She died, so I count that as a win.

— Nurse, suction.
— The patient's not even here yet.
— I know.

I just thought about flat boobies and it made me mad.

— Hey, baby.
— This overbearing machismo is usually just compensation for a lap-pinkie.

— Are you following me?
— No. You wanna go out some time?
— With you?
— Me and a bottle of Jagermeister.
— No, Todd, I don't. But I don't want you to think it's because I'm a lesbian or anything. I find you so creepy, I think you should walk around with a bell around your neck.
— All I heard was ''lesbian''.

Know where there's all kinds of equipment for women? Toddland.

— Okay, I've got something we can't give her permanently, but I can guarantee she'll enjoy it while she has her hands on it.
— No! Preemptive strike on the sex joke.