Rachel Green: — Guess what.
Ross Geller: — You got a job?
Rachel Green: — Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing. I was laughed out of 12 interviews today.
Chandler Bing: — Yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
Rachel Green: — Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale... 50 percent off.
Chandler Bing: — Oh, how well you know me.
Rachel Green: — They're my new "I don't need a job or my parents. I've got great boots" boots.
You reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathetic.
— Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe?
— Yeah. Maybe.
— Okay. Okay, maybe I will.
— So, what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were in love with, you know.
— I know. I know I was. But there was always this voice inside that kept saying: "It's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was?
— God?
— It was you, pal.
— Well, maybe it was God doing me.
— Where's this money coming from?
— I'm helping out at the NYU Med School with research.
— What kind of research?
— Just, you know, science.
— Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that.
— It's a fertility study.
— Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
— Actually, a little more than that.
— Thank you, God. This will bring us so much joy.
— Come on, it's not that big a deal. I just go down there every other day... and make my contribution to the project. But at the end of two weeks, I get $700!
— You're gonna be making money hand over fist.
— That's funny. Very funny.
— This is great. I actually know somebody who loves what they do.
— But what do you do to unwind after a tough day at work?
— Where'd you get him?
— My friend Bethel saved him from a lab.
— That is so cruel. Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
— Hey, Ross!
— Paolo. Ha. What a... What, uh...? What are you doing here?
— I do Raquel.
— You'll probably catch her at the gate. You'll call her name and yell "I love you!" She'll say "I love you too!" Then you will have the most amazing kiss. Everyone at the gate will applaud.
— I am a good kisser.
— Then you two can sneak into the cockpit. Things will start to heat up. And then a stewardess comes in... I've been watching too much porn.
— Okay, Ross, Ross, Ross. You're gonna wanna stay away from that guy and that guy and that one. Dude, they're all huge.
— They don't look any bigger than me.
— That's because you're closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
— Look, if it gets a little warm... it can be a theme party.
— Here's a theme: "Come on in, live like bacon!"