Marla Singer – Character Quotes

[Holding up a wad of cash]
You're not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax.

— I know it's been like there's two sides to me.
— Two sides? You're Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Jackass.

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just…
Marla: …instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

Condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night… then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.

You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me your sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole! Is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?

— We are gonna split up the week, ok? You take lymphoma and tuberculosis.
— You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
— Ok. Good. Fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, ok.
— Technically, I have more right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
— You are kidding?
— I don't know. Am I?

— I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
— It was worth every penny.
— It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree — so special, then, bam, it's on the side of the road with tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim, underwear inside out, bound with electrical tape.

— You are a faker. You are not dying.
— Sorry?