β What's with the briefcase?
β It's a love memento.
β Huh?
β The most beautiful woman alive. Her name was Mary. I drove her to the airport. Sparks flew, emotions ran high, breasts heaved. She left this case in the terminal and flew to Aspen and out of my life. End of story.
β What's in it?
β DO you really expect me to go snooping around in someone else's private property?
β Why not?
β It's locked.
β I really like you, Mary. I like you a lot. I'm gonna ask you something flat out and I want you to answer me honestly: What do you think the chances are of a girl like you and a guy like me ending up together?
β Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean we hardly...
β I asked you to be honest, Mary.
β But Lloyd, I really can't...
β Come on, give it to me straight. I drove a long way to see you, the least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
β Not good.
β You mean not good, like one out of a hundred? I'd say more like one out of a million.
β So you're telling me there's a chance?
Oh, well, pardon me, Mr. Perfect! I guess I forgot that you never, ever make a mistake!
Look, Mary, I know this may seem a little sudden but I've given it a lot of thought: You're the woman I've been waiting for my whole life, and I'm not ashamed to admit it... Please, let me finish. I'm crazy about you. I've never felt this way about anyone. You make it so easy for me to tell you my innermost desires. Listen to me, I feel like a schoolboy again. A schoolboy who desperately wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.
I'm only human, Harry. Anybody can make a mistake. Come on, man, pull yourself together.