Keith Dudemeister – Character Quotes

— Promise me you'll hold me like this when I push your baby out my bajingo.
— I'm putting on a third condom.

— Ok we have a 41 year old male who is as orange as a NBA game ball. Could you help me why?
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— Maybe he use so fake-tan cream. Used it once, turn me orange all over.
— There were no foreign substances found on his skin but kuddos Keith on finally outing yourself.

— Hey Keith.
— You came to your house while I'm packing all my stuff, even though you promised not to be here.
— Awesome. Well, you know you can't take my word. I mean, I also promised to marry you last Saturday, right? Right?

— So, how's Keith?
— Carla. Pig whore.
— Better actually. Used to be "Stupid Pig Whore". It's only been a few days and he's already dropped an adjective.
— Wow! Maybe by the weekend you'll just be "whore".