John Constantine – Character Quotes

37 quotes

— When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most parents would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
— You tried to kill yourself?
— I didn't try anything. Officially, I was dead for two minutes. But when you cross over time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell — is a lifetime. When I came back, I knew, all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle. Angels and demons can't
cross over onto our plane. So instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears, but a single word can give you courage... or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch... like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit. So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my retirement.
— I don't understand.
— I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go.
— You're trying to buy your way into heaven?
— What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison, where half the inmates were put there by you?

- When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most parents would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
- You tried to kill yourself?
- I didn't try anything. Officially, I was dead for two minutes. But when you cross over time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell - is a lifetime. When I came back, I knew, all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle. Angels and demons can't
cross over onto our plane. So instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears, but a single word can give you courage... or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch... like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit. So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my retirement.
- I don't understand.
- I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go.
- You're trying to buy your way into heaven?
- What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison, where half the inmates were put there by you?
- When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most parents would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
- You tried to kill yourself?
- I didn't try anything. Officially, I was dead for two minutes. But when you cross over time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell - is a lifetime. When I came back, I knew, all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle. Angels and demons can't
cross over onto our plane. So instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears, but a single word can give you courage... or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch... like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit. So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my retirement.
- I don't understand.
- I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go.
- You're trying to buy your way into heaven?
- What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison, where half the inmates were put there by you?

Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager... a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
— I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
Humor me! No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule! Just influence. See who would win.
— Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
— Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling!
— Oh, so it's fun. It's fun when a man beats his wife to death, when a mother drowns her baby. And you think the devil is responsible? People are evil, Mr. Constantine. So that's it.
— You're right. We're born capable of terrible things. Then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
— Well, this has been real educational... but I don't believe in the devil.
— You should. He believes in you!

- Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager... a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
- I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
- Humor me! No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule! Just influence. See who would win.
- Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
- Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling!
- Oh, so it's fun. It's fun when a man beats his wife to death, when a mother drowns her baby. And you think the devil is responsible? People are evil, Mr. Constantine. So that's it.
- You're right. We're born capable of terrible things. Then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
- Well, this has been real educational... but I don't believe in the devil.
- You should. He believes in you!
- Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager... a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
- I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
- Humor me! No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule! Just influence. See who would win.
- Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
- Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling!
- Oh, so it's fun. It's fun when a man beats his wife to death, when a mother drowns her baby. And you think the devil is responsible? People are evil, Mr. Constantine. So that's it.
- You're right. We're born capable of terrible things. Then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
- Well, this has been real educational... but I don't believe in the devil.
- You should. He believes in you!

— You still trying to buy your way into heaven?
— What about the minions I've sent back? That alone should guarantee my entry!
— How many times have I told you? That's not the way this works.
— Why, haven't I served him enough? What does he want from me?
— Only the usual. Self-sacrifice, belief.
— Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
— No, no, you know! And there's a difference. You've seen.

- You still trying to buy your way into heaven?
- What about the minions I've sent back? That alone should guarantee my entry!
- How many times have I told you? That's not the way this works.
- Why, haven't I served him enough? What does he want from me?
- Only the usual. Self-sacrifice, belief.
- Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
- No, no, you know! And there's a difference. You've seen.
- You still trying to buy your way into heaven?
- What about the minions I've sent back? That alone should guarantee my entry!
- How many times have I told you? That's not the way this works.
- Why, haven't I served him enough? What does he want from me?
- Only the usual. Self-sacrifice, belief.
- Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
- No, no, you know! And there's a difference. You've seen.

— So. Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
— The sister... Isabel.
— What about her?
— Let her go home.
— You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?... Fine. It's done. Time to go, John.
— Yeah.
— The sacrifice. No. This one belongs to me. No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. So you will have... the chance to prove... that your soul truly belongs in hell. You will live... You will live, John...

- So. Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
- The sister... Isabel.
- What about her?
- Let her go home.
- You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?.. Fine. It's done. Time to go, John.
- Yeah.
- The sacrifice. No. This one belongs to me. No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. So you will have... the chance to prove... that your soul truly belongs in hell. You will live... You will live, John...
- So. Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
- The sister... Isabel.
- What about her?
- Let her go home.
- You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?.. Fine. It's done. Time to go, John.
- Yeah.
- The sacrifice. No. This one belongs to me. No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. So you will have... the chance to prove... that your soul truly belongs in hell. You will live... You will live, John...
- So. Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
- The sister... Isabel.
- What about her?
- Let her go home.
- You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?.. Fine. It's done. Time to go, John.
- Yeah.
- The sacrifice. No. This one belongs to me. No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. So you will have... the chance to prove... that your soul truly belongs in hell. You will live... You will live, John...
- So. Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
- The sister... Isabel.
- What about her?
- Let her go home.
- You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?.. Fine. It's done. Time to go, John.
- Yeah.
- The sacrifice. No. This one belongs to me. No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. So you will have... the chance to prove... that your soul truly belongs in hell. You will live... You will live, John...