J.D. – Character Quotes

Ultimately, conflict is resolved by remembering why you were friends in the first place. In the end, though, it doesn't really matter how you get there. As long as you're friends again.

— How's it goin'?
— I'm a 37-year-old janitor. How d'you think it's going?
— There is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
— Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around. I'll tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living. And that comes straight from our hero, Dr Whozits, Dr Nothing. No, seriously, come on. Come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap.

I guess, in the end, things seldom work out exactly the way you expect. Sometimes fate is on your side. Other times, you've kind of sealed your own fate. You have to trust that whatever's supposed to happen will happen. Somehow you always seem to end up with the person you're meant to be with.

Never underestimate those around you for they may betray you... They may deceive you... In the end, those same people will make you wish you'd never met them.

So there we were. Together... But not together. And, as always, not knowing what the hell we were doing.

— From now on, your name is Scooter.
— I don't get it.
— Short for scooter pie. I hate scooter pies.

You can't make me feel guilty for asking for help. That's just the way the world works. Most people actually like helping out the people around them.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! And shut up! OK? Who are you to give me advice? All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long. You know what? Glare all you want, Big Dog, cos I'm not afraid of you. «Jordan's only paying attention to the baby». Must be so hard for Dr Look At Me. Isn't it? Look at me! And you two? You're arguing since you got engaged? You're probably the first couple to do that ever. It can't be that you're just scared, is it? And you. Let's just forget for one second that, a month ago, you told me you couldn't be in a relationship. Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage your relationship from the outside. The only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I'm at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing I had someone to talk to, is knowing none of you idiots realise how lucky you are.

But more often than not, the answers we've been looking for have been inside us all along.

And, yes, change is scary, but it's also inevitable. It's up to you to make the best of it.

Sometimes reality takes the form of a kick to the head.

Sometimes the only way to take a good look at yourself is through someone else's eyes. If you're lucky, you'll like what you see. Or you'll learn from it. If you don't like what you see, you have to hope you haven't burned too many bridges.

I guess it's human nature to worry about the future. Especially when we think our dreams might not come true.

I was so mad at Elliot I couldn't sleep last night. Also, Danni snores like a gutted wild boar. But mostly it was the Elliot thing.

— It really has been an amazing six years, hasn't it? I wouldn't change a single moment, would you?
— Oh, I'd damn sure change this moment. In fact, I'd change this moment and every other moment you and I have ever had that's even remotely like this moment.

— You're the only man who's ever been inside of me.
— I just took out his appendix.