Hank Schrader – Character Quotes

— Well, gentlemen, we're here to discuss your illegal harassment of my client. This should be good. Mr. Ehrmantraut has become the subject of a vicious, relentless... and unwarranted DEA persecution. <...> But we all know you've been following my client day and night. The man can't spend a few minutes with his granddaughter... without you guys quivering in the bushes... and peeping through your binoculars. It's... Well, it's disturbing. And it's taken a toll on his mental and physical well-being.
— Your client looks fine to me.
— Well, some hurts only show on the inside.

— Can you say «ASAC»? «Aaay-SAC». Can you say that? Say, «ASAC Schrader».
— If those turn out to be her first words, I will beat you with my shoe.

— You're looking very well.
— Yeah, well, you know, chalk it up to clean living and vitamin pills. I must apologize.

— Hey, uh, Nick the Greek, you going to share that bottle or what?
— Who's Nick the Greek?
— Nick the Greek. He was a famous big-time card player.
— Hank, that's not funny.
— What? It's a compliment.

Raw talent's bound to pop up somewhere.

Look, a guy doesn't gotta look like, uh, you know, Charlton Heston... I'm talking Moses days. To get a girl, all right? You just gotta have confidence. Confidence and, uh... And persistence.

Whoa, is that actual food I'm smelling? I might get an honest-to-God meal here for once? Your aunt Marie, she's cute, but she could burn water, you know what I'm saying?

— Hey, I want a beer.
— Yeah, I want Shania Twain to give me a tuggy. Guess what. It ain't happening either.

Ha ha! Ooh! Little whiskers, Marie. What did you do, show your barber a picture of a dog's ass and said "I'll take that"?

— I know you gals have your ups and downs. I get it.
— Gals...
— And I need to get involved like I need a second hole in my ass.

— You can do this, Hank. Come on, it's supposed to hurt. Pain is weakness leaving your body.
— Pain is my foot in your ass, Marie.
— Hey, if you can get your leg up that high, I say go for it.

A two-day drive from the nearest ocean, and you're eating raw fish.

Guys who know their trade. Wait. I take that back. What, they didn't think about stealing a hand truck? Try rolling it, morons! It's a barrel. It rolls. Jesus.