Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.
Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!
— Pay attention to me!
— Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you.
If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.
Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.
I'm not sad, I'm complicated, chicks dig that.
— Where’s the wood box?
— Wood box?
— Yes, the wood box.
— I realized they could be my friends.
— You're serious?
— And then I sobered up.