I feel sick. Not like for a doctor, but inside my chest it feels empty, like getting punched and a heartburn at the same time.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! And shut up! OK? Who are you to give me advice? All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long. You know what? Glare all you want, Big Dog, cos I'm not afraid of you. «Jordan's only paying attention to the baby». Must be so hard for Dr Look At Me. Isn't it? Look at me! And you two? You're arguing since you got engaged? You're probably the first couple to do that ever. It can't be that you're just scared, is it? And you. Let's just forget for one second that, a month ago, you told me you couldn't be in a relationship. Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage your relationship from the outside. The only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I'm at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing I had someone to talk to, is knowing none of you idiots realise how lucky you are.
The pit closed in, suffocating. Meggie stood there, and realized it was too late.
I guess Lieutenant Dan figured there's some things you just can't change. He didn't want to be called crippled, just like I didn't want to be called stupid.
This was mine. How extraordinary. And it looks the same as it did the last time I saw it. The reflection has changed a bit.
Why is it you're always too small or too tall?
— What killed him?
— Loyalty.
The scariest thing was I thought he was stronger than all of us. Maybe it's not about being the best. Maybe it's about finding little things that get you through the day. Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed, if only for a moment. Or being selfless every once in a while. I don't know. I guess in the end, it's about surviving, any way you can.
I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin-deep. If you could see inside... I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep.