South Park

Let us not forget the great Richard Dawkins who finally freed the world of religion long ago. Dawkins knew that logic and reason were the way of the future. But it wasn't until he met his beautiful wife that he learned using logic and reason isn't enough. You have to be a dick to everyone who doesn't think like you.

Ladies and Gentlemen. If there are any questions you may direct them to that brick wall over there!

Your face looks like somebody tried to put out forest fire with a screwdriver.

You need to have a life. Have fun. *Then* ruin it by having a serious relationship.

Don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least $8.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.

Respect my authority!

Damnit! We'll never get any candy if Kenny keeps eating people!

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you're a hippie and hippies suck.

If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.

The woman's mouth is the most germ-ridden place, I said. Statistically the most unsafe place for a man to put his penis, I said.

AIDS was more the '80s/'90s disease. It's all about cancer now.

After all, hunting sober is like fishing sober.

— Oh my God, he killed Kenny!
— You bastard!