South Park

You need to have a life. Have fun. *Then* ruin it by having a serious relationship.

Don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least $8.

You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.

Respect my authority!

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you're a hippie and hippies suck.

If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.

The woman's mouth is the most germ-ridden place, I said. Statistically the most unsafe place for a man to put his penis, I said.

Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?

Love is like taking a dump. Sometimes it works itself out, but sometimes, you've gotta give it a nice hard slimy push.