Mort - Terry Pratchett

He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

But at least the way was clear now. When you step off a cliff, your life takes a very definite direction.

Mort was hurt by this. It was one thing not to want to marry someone, but quite another to be told they didn't want to marry you.

— YOU MUST LEARN THE COMPASSION PROPER TO YOUR TRADE.
— And what's that?
— A SHARP EDGE.

Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.

Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.