I am learning to control my resentment, not to be so impatient, to wait for things.
I guess I'm growing up.
I present it to you as a hypothesis: Intelligence without the ability to give and receive affection leads to mental and moral breakdown, to neurosis, and possibly even psychosis. And I say that the mind absorbed in and involved in itself as a self-centered end, to the exclusion of human relationships, can only lead to violence and pain.
When I was retarded I had lots of friends.
Now I have no one.
Oh, I know lots of people.
Lots and lots of people.
But I don't have any real friends.
Not like I used to have in the bakery.
Not a friend in the world who means anything to me, and no one I mean anything to.
Only a short time ago, I learned that people laughed at me. Now I can see that unknowingly I joined them in laughing at myself. That hurts the most.
You've got to find the answer inside you — feel the right thing to do. Charlie, you've got to learn to trust yourself.