Egotist — a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Bore — a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Beauty — the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Acquaintance — a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Boundary — an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
Politeness — the most acceptable hypocrisy.
Admiration — our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Erudition — dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Telephone — an invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Education — that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.